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WARNING... Most jokes could be considered offensive by some people. MarkThiSpot.com is not responsible if you are offended in any way. Jokes are here for your entertainment only!
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Back To Main Joke Page. On the Second day God says to Adam, "I have some good news... and some bad news." Adam responds, "Well tell me the good news first." "Alright my son, the good news is I will give you both a brain and a penis... the bad news is I'm only going to give you enough blood to run one at a time." Back To Main Joke Page. About a month after God created Adam and Eve, he decides to stop by the Garden to see how they are doing. He comes upon Adam and asks "How are thing going with you and Eve." Adam replies, "Well, everything was going just great until a few days ago. Then Eve started getting moody and cranky. She hasn't been very cooperative and neither of us understands why. Now this morning she woke up to find blood all over her legs." God asks "Where is Eve? I need to talk to her." Adam replies "She went down to the river to get cleaned up." God replies "Oh no! I'll never get that smell out of the fish." Back To Main Joke Page. After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that Was enjoyable." And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I
thought you might enjoy And Adam said, "What is a 'caress'?" So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "'Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "'You've done well
Adam. And now I want And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds. And Adam said, "Lord, what is a 'headache'?" Back To Main Joke Page. One day, after nearly an eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam dials up God and says; "Lord, I have a problem" "What's the problem, Adam?" God replies. "Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Adam?", comes the reply from the heavens. "Lord, I know that you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I'm lonely." "The sheep and I do not speak the same language."
"Forgive me, Lord, but what is a WOMAN?" "This WOMAN will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you." Replies the heavenly voice. "Sounds great to me." says Adam. "She will be great, as is with all things I create, well except for the Platypus, but Adam.........." "Yes Lord." "This is going to cost you." "How much will this WOMAN cost me Lord?" Adam replies. "She'll cost you your right arm,..... your right leg,..... an eye and an ear,... and........... your left testicle." Adam ponders this for some time. Then with a look of deep though and concern still etched on his face Adam says, "Ehhhh, what can I get for a rib?" Back To Main Joke Page. After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a 'kiss?'" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable." And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is a 'caress?'" So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?'" So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds. And Adam said, "Lord, what is a 'headache?'" Back To Main Joke Page.
When Adam stayed out very late for a few
nights, Eve became upset. "You´re running around with other women,"
she told her mate.
"Eve, honey, you´re being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know you´re the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in his side. It was Eve poking him about the torso. "What do you think you´re doing?" Adam demanded. "Counting your ribs," said Eve.
Back To
Main Joke Page.
Adam and Eve were standing opposite to each other when Adam got his first erection. The two watched, astonished, until Adam suddenly exclaimed, “Move aside -- I don't know how far its gonna go.”
Back To Main Joke Page. One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out
to God. Back To Main Joke Page. Whenever your kids are out of control, you can
take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to
God's kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the
first thing he said was, "Don't." Back To Main Joke Page. One day God and Adam were walking in the
garden. God told Adam it was time to populate the earth. Back To Main Joke Page. Adam was walking around the
Garden of Eden, feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with
you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. One day Adam was
walking along when God said to him, "I have a task for you Adam. I would
like you to go down to my latest creation called Earth and see what you think of
it, but your not to touch anything." God had just finished creating Adam. God said to him "Adam, I want you to pick out a partner from any of the animals in the garden." So Adam looked around trying to find a mate. After a few minutes Adam said to God "God, none of these animals will do." So God made a woman for Adam. Adam looked at the woman and said to God "God, why did you make her so beautiful?" and God replied "So you will like her Adam." Adam said, "But God, she is just SO beautiful why is she so beautiful?" "So you will like her" God replied. Then Adam asked, "But God, why did you make her so stupid?" God replied "So she will like you."
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