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God Bless America!, Features Animal lover Jokes, Pointer + Setter, Puppy Love, Doggie,

Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet. How did the dog make anti-freeze? He stole her blanket.

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Crossbred Dogs

Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier
Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway

Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

Cocker Spaniel + Rottweiller
Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband

Bull Terrier + Shitzu
Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed

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Eleven dogs shared one umbrella, yet none got wet. How did they manage?
It wasn't raining.

How can you tell a dog from a jar of peanut butter?
The shaggy dog doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth.

How can you tell a dog from a tomato?
The tomato is red.

How can you tell a dog from an elephant?
The elephant remembers.

How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight?

How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at night?
He used a skeleton key.

How did the dog make anti-freeze?
He stole her blanket.

How did the dog make gold soup?
He put in 24 carrots.

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?
He foamed at the mouth.

How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your back yard.

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Standing on the corner, a man observes two hearses driving slowly down the street, followed by a man walking a dog and 25 men in single file behind them.

"What's going on", the bystander asks.

"My dog bit my wife and she died. Then he bit my mother-in-law and she died."

The bystander pauses and then says, "Can I borrow your dog!"

The man with the dog says, "Get in line!"

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A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating.

The little boy asked his Dad what was happening.

The Father replied, "Well, son, they're making a puppy."

The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.

Confused, the boy asked what were they doing.

The Dad responded very slowly and caringly to his impressional little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little brother.

"The little boy replied, "Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"

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Which dog tastes better when eaten?
A hot dog.

Which side of a dog has the most hair?
The outside, of course.

Who gave the dog a black eye?
Nobody gave it to him. He had to fight for it.

Why are dogs such poor dancers?
They have two left feet.

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?
The tomato was in a can.

Why did the dog jump off the Empire State Building?
He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.

Why did the dog jump up and down on the potato patch?
He hoped to raise mashed potatoes.

Why did the dog mistake the dog catcher for a grape?
He was colour-blind.

Why did the dog run in circles?
He was a watchdog and needed winding.

Why did the dog say he was an actor?
His leg was in a cast.

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A young man was invited to dinner for the first time at his girlfriend's house. He's very nervous about meeting her family and standing up to their scrutiny, to the point of developing severe stomach cramps.

By the time he sits down to dinner, his stomach is belching gas like a volcano.

Beneath the table, the family dog is crouched near him.
Finally the young man can endure it no longer.

He breaks wind.

Immediately the mother scolds the dog: "Spot, get away from the table!"

The dog skulks off to the corner of the room, his ears tucked down, disconsolate. The young man is relieved that the dog has gotten the blame.

A bit later, after the dog has scrabbled slowly way back, the scene is repeated.

Again the dog gets the blame. "Spot!" the mother shouts,
"Get away from the table!"

By the time the meal is nearly finished, the scene is replayed yet a third time.

This time the mother jumps ups and shouts, "Spot! Get away from the table before this horrid man shits on you!"

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