Features Fun to do Stuff, 60 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator, 100 Ways
to Order Pizza, Example, Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and
glare at the other passengers like they are crazy!All
types of Pranks!
1. Make race car noises
when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
"Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World"
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:
"Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask
them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open
until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink"
at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
"I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not
now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad
51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh!
Get them off!"
53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.
54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other
passengers like they are crazy.
55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing
only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come
home early just when it's getting to the good part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting
"Down! I said down, dammit!"
58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.
59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor
suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.
1. If using a touch-tone,
press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to
stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card
name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where
4. Order a Big Mac Extra
5. Terminate the call with,
"Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a
rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest
7. Give them your address,
exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions
9. In your breathiest
voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have
something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words
in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the
crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the
tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets"
13. Do not name the
toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in
your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter
16. Ask for a deal
available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser!
17. Ask what the order
taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles
into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned
for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order
with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that,
panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker
you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic
cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent
every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni
slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are
about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the
order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with
"I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say
"No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the
order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99;
please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an
electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep
the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the
last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your pizza
"shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are you sure
this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this!
You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that
it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know
what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Move the mouthpiece
farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk
the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your
35. Tell them to
double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order
37. Eliminate verbs from
38. When they say
"What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the
40. Say it's your
anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some
furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker
with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to
pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any
idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes
best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the
mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a
49. Shout "I'm through
with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle
of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are
51. Psychoanalyze the order
52. Ask what their phone
number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings,
then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly
pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the
55. Call to complain about
service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to
tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Report a petty theft to
the order taker.
58. Use expletives like
"Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel
59. Ask for the guy who
took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests
anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet
61. Wonder aloud if you
should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while
63. Start the conversation
with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the pizza is
65. Ask about pizza
maintenance and repair.
66.. Be vague in your
67. When they repeat your
order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone
press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say
"I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a
70. Start the conversation
by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last
71. State your order and
say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar
with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go
with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht"
rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order
taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings
you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues
riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like
to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's
voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a
secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a
bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said
'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping
you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms,
please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is
repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again.
On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you'ge given the
price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life
88. When they say
"Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't
89. Order with a
Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins
were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone,
fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious
93. Dance all around the
word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it,
say "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a
good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!"
when a bullet is fired.
95. If he/she suggests a
side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the pizza has
had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name.
Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day)
wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the
pizza with a public flogging.
100. If any of the above
practices are rejected by the order taker,. Say, in your best pouty voice,
"Last guy let me do it."