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THE TOP 10 REJECTED POST OFFICE SLOGAN IDEAS

10. Preferred carrier of the Unibomber.

9. Neither rain nor sleet nor disgruntled uzi-bearing former employees will keep us from our appointed rounds.

8. We know where you live.

7. It's not just a job, it's a chance to shoot some people.

6. You work hard so we don't have to.

5. If your package doesn't arrive on time, we'll shoot several employees.

4. Attitude shmattitude. Shut up and get out.

3. Better armed than Fed Ex.

2. We do more by 10pm than most people do all day.

1. Lick it, stick it and kiss it good-bye!


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34 Condom Week Slogans

1. Cover your stump before you hump.
2. Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper.
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout.
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat.
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up that penis.
14. When you take of her pants and blouse, be sure to suit up your trouser mouse.
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
18. The right selection! Protect your erection.
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.
20. A crank with armor will never harm her.
21. If yo really love her, wear a cover.
22. Don't make a mistake! Muzzle your snake.
23. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.
24. If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
25. No glove, No love.
26. Don't be in such a jiffy, cover your stiffy.
27. AIDS is no joke, be sure to wrap before you poke.
28. Even though you're tired and sleepy, take the time to wrap your pee-pee.
29. Before getting drastic, wrap it in plastic
30. Before getting laid, wrap up your spade
31. Bodies shouldn't go slapping unless peter's got his wrapping
32. Don't make a mistake, cover your snake.
33. You could get a germ if you don't cover your worm
34. You might wind up dead if you don't shield your head

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