MarkThiSpot.com,
Features Sales Jokes, A traveling salesman approached an old
farmhouse and noticed the strange behavior of the couple inside.
The woman was running the lawn mower over the carpet and the man
had one hand dipped in a fish bowl and was playing with himself
with the other. The salesman assumed they were crazy and moved
on.
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A lady goes into the local
sporting goods store to buy a fishing rod to give to her husband for his
birthday.
A salesman wearing dark
glasses with a dog is behind the counter and asks, "Can I help you
ma'am ?"
"Well, I'd like to buy
a fishing rod, can you tell me about this one?" she answers.
The salesman replies,
"I'm sorry ma'am but I am blind and can not see the rod your
referring too. However, if you'll drop it on the counter I'll tell you all
about it as I can tell from the sound it makes."
The lady picks up the rod,
and does what he says and drops it on the counter.
He belts "That's a
Zebco 2500, fiberglass, 6.5', medium action - $15."
Lady - "Wow !"
She finds another and does the same.
"Thats an Orion 35C,
graphite, 6', light action - best used with ultralight tackle - $20."
Very impressed the lady
decides to buy the second one.
As the man is ringing up
the sale, the lady makes a rather large noise as she passes gas but feels
no need to apologize as the salesman is blind and has no idea who she is.
Salesman says,
"That'll be $25."
"TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS
!? YOU SAID $20?"
"That's right mam, $20
for the rod, $3 for the duck call, and $2 for the fish bait."
A traveling salesman
approached an old farmhouse and noticed the strange behavior of the couple
inside. The woman was running the lawn mower over the carpet and the man
had one hand dipped in a fish bowl and was playing with himself with the
other. The salesman assumed they were crazy and moved on.
After he'd finished his
pitch at the next farmhouse, he mentioned what he'd just seen. "Oh,
those folks ain't crazy," the farmer said, "They're both deaf
mutes. She was telling him to mow the lawn, and he was telling
her to go fuck herself because he was going fishing."
A keen country lad applied
for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the
biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked
him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Yes, I was a salesman
in the country" said the lad.
The boss liked the cut of
him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come see you when we
close up."
The day was long and
arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss
duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
"One said the young
salesman.
"Only one,"
blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day."
How much was the sale worth? "
"Three hundred
thousand dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage
that?" Asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well," said the
salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a
medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small
fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was
going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a
boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty
foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably
wouldn't be able to
pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the
new Deluxe Cruiser."
The boss took two steps
back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came
in for a fish hook?"
"No" answered the
salesman, "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said
to him, "Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing."
