MarkThiSpot.com,
Features you are a Redneck if.....Why do drivers education classes in
Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
What greeting card is unique to a Redneck? Stop on in and check us out!
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1.Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2.Be aggressive. Let her
know you are interested:"I've been wanting to go out with you since I
read that stuff on the men's bathroom wall two years a go."
3.If a girl's name does not
appear regularly on a bathroom wall, water tower, or an overpass, odds are
good that the date will end in frustration.
Redneck Theater Etiquette
1.Crying babies should be
taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2.Refrain from talking to
characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
1.Livestock is usually a
poor choice for a wedding gift.
2.Its is not okay for the
groom to bring a date to a wedding.
3.When dancing, never
remove undergarments, no matter how hot it is.
4.A bridal veil made of
window screen is not only cost effective but also a proven fly deterrent.
5.For the groom, at least
rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can
create a natty appearance. Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and
shoes for this special occasion.
A hillbilly boy and his new
bride were on their honeymoon. The husband jumps into bed to wait for his
wife to get herself ready.
The wife comes out of the
bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I have something to tell
you. I'm a virgin."
The idiot grabs his clothes
and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs. He heads
straight to his father's house.
When he gets there his
father says "Boy, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on
your honeymoon."
The son says "Dad, my
new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin."
The father says,
"Damn, son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good
enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours."
Backup - What you do when
you run across a skunk in the woods
Bar Code - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick
Byte - What your pit-bull dun to cusin Jethro
Cache - Needed when you run out of food stamps
Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
Digital - The art of counting on your fingers
Diskette - Female Disco dancer
Fax - What you lie about to the IRS
Hacker - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
Hard Drive - Memphis to Jacksonville
Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
Kilobyte - Huntin' for food
Mac - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
Megahertz - How your head feels after 17 beers
Modem - What ya do when the grass gets too high
Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live
Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
On-line - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM - Where the pope lives
Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
Serial Port - A red wine you drink with breakfast
Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year
SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear
Terminal - Time to call the undertaker